"LORD, I BELIEVE..." - LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

May 5, 2014

Well, Saturday morning was a pretty exciting time for Sister Bronson and I . . . I hadn't even given a second thought to the fact that we would be getting transfer calls . . . But guess what?  We are going to be getting a third sister!  Yayay for dritts.  Elder Breitenstein came up with the great analogy that being in a dritt (or a tri companionship) is like a mullet.  It is a party in the off time, but in all work situations it is horribly awkward.  Bring it on.  We can rock this mullett!!

This week we met with a man from India, who Sister Hansen and I actually met when we were together.  We met at the church, and it was an adventure.  Two words:  Language barrier.  This is probably one of the hardest things that we have to deal with.  It will be so weird coming home again when everybody just speaks English, and when we can communicate with such ease.  Even though it is frustrating though, it has truly taught me how important the role of the Holy Ghost is.  I really recognize how dependent I am on God and on the Holy Ghost.  If these people can't understand the words that we speak, we hope that they will at least understand in their hearts.  There is a large painting of Jesus in the foyer of the church, and I pointed at it several times as we were together.  "Lal, Jesus Christus ist der Sohn Gottes.  Jesus ist der Erlöser und Erretter der Welt.'' "Gott lebt.  Jesus Christus lebt. Gott liebt Sie."  He could respond with the name of the Savior in his own language.  Understanding.  Remembering this experience kinda gives me goose bumps.  We can give our testimony, we can help him all that we can.  It seriously breaks my heart that we can't give him more or help him more.  

This week I had a "Lord, I believe" moment. One day I started getting a really bad headache again and it lasted the whole day.  It was so exhausting and by the time I layed down in bed I just felt like crying.  The next day, I woke up feeling much the same way, and I just felt like I was in the darkest place.  I honestly didnt' know what I could do.  My mind felt so fragile and my body weak.  And I just felt so alone.  I finally opened up to Sister Bronson about how I was feeling, and she was willing to do anything she could to help.  Seriously, temptation is a scary thing.  My companion bore her testimony to me, and just as she spoke simple statements of truth, I could feel it.  I don't even know how I came to be in this place in the first place, why I was so low, but I know that I was missing the feeling of the Holy Ghost.  All I could do was rest my own head on my clasped hands and plead with God to help me.  I knew that my faith was the most powerful thing that I had in the moment. I spoke audibly, "I know that God lives.  Jesus Christ is the Son of God.  I know that God is there."  It was kind of like with Lal.  There is so much power in statements of truth.  I made my faith manifest.  I still felt like a prisoner to my own doubt though, and even to the temptations that had overcome me.  I asked Sister Bronson if she would sing with me.  So we sang a song that has always had a special meaning for me.


Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:
"Suffer the children to come to me."
Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.

Pray, he is there;
Speak, he is list'ning.
You are his child;
His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer;
He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.   

As a young girl I used to go to sleep at night with these words going through my mind.  It brought me peace then just as it does now.  I even remember one night in Langenhorn when it was particularly hard and Sister had sung this to me as we had both layed down at night after a dark, cold winter day. There is power in prayer and there is power in song.  Both invite the Spirit.  Both bring peace.  

The days passed this week and we continued to talk to people on the street and talk to people in their homes.  After every day and every experience whether it is easy or hard I am just so grateful.  Often it is so hard in the moment, but there will always be a way out.  There is always hope and there is always faith.  And there is always light when we turn to God.  As I reflected on my experience from earlier this week I had the line come to my head, "Lord, I believe."  We will experience the power of faith when we make it manifest.  "Help thou mine unbelief."  In my personal study this week I came to chapter 9 in the book of Mark.  the story where the man actually comes to Jesus with his son almost dead in his arms, and begs that Jesus heal him.  

23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are ^apossible to him that ^bbelieveth. 24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine ^aunbelief.
 25 When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he ^arebuked the ^bfoul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.
 26 And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead.
 27 But Jesus took him by the hand, and ^alifted him up; and he arose.


  No matter where we are or who we are I really believe that God's hand is extended to each one of us.  We can be lifted if we want to.  There is a call to everyone to arise. 

Another cool experience we had this week was when we were on the street and just talking to people.  We started talking to a man and he immediately recognized us as missionaries from the church.  He had been in the church one time several months ago, after he had been invited by two other sisters.  He is a professor and is really busy with work and everything, but he still remembered the names of the missionaries who he met.  He spoke of the strength of one of the Sisters in particular, and how powerful her testimony was.  This one sister had made such a difference in this man's life and she didn't even know it.  He had remembered her and her testimony even after several months.  I am determined that every effort on our part to serve others and to serve God makes a different.  By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.  This has pretty much been the story of my mission.  we meet people, some just briefly, some for extended periods of time, but something happens and it appears that all of our efforts have been for nothing. But the little things do matter.  This is the work of the Lord, and it will be done.

I am so excited to see you all this coming Sunday.on Skype. Wow, I can't believe the time is already here again.  I love you all.  Bis dann :)

Ich liebe euch.
Sister Heidi Shelley