SUNNY DAYS IN BERLIN..:D In more ways than one... LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

Heidi's latest email..:D

March 10, 2104

Hello,

Another sunny day here in Berlin!

Yesterday I was sitting in the small chapel here during sacrament meeting and there was so much light coming in through the windows.  Spring is here, JAWOHL!! :)

Something that has been on my mind a lot this week is replacing fear with faith.

Faith is power.

We met with J*** this week and at a part of the lesson we invited him to simply tell us what he believed.  Just like all of us, he has some doubts, he has some fears, he has some questions.  But then again, that's only part of being human.

"I believe in God, and I believe that He loves me."  As he spoke those words I was really touched by them.

Sister Clark was there and she shared one of the most powerful testimonies of Jesus Christ, and she began to cry as she read from 3rd Nephi as Christ ministered among the people.  I believe in God and I believe that He loves me as well.  I believe that God is love.

I remember back in Hamburg how I felt as I read these chapters on my own in 3rd Nephi and how they had touched me in a similar way.  I may not be able to meet Christ in person, but I can get to know him through the scriptures, get to know his character and love. We are lucky to have this available to us, but even so there are some people who have not yet had this opportunity.  How well do we take advantage of it?  How well do we know the Savior and His teachings?  How grateful are we for the gospel and the knowledge that we do have? As a missionary my faith has grown immensely.  But even so there are days that I fall down.  I doubt, I fear, I question.  But there is power that comes from the Atonement.  There is power in prayer.  And there is power in the truth.

A quote from Elder M. Russell Ballard really meant a lot to me as I read it in my personal study this week:

"Always remember that Jesus Christ--the Creator of the universe, the architect of our salvation, and the head of this church is in control.  He will not permit His work to fail.  He will be victorious over all darkness and evil."

Lately, I have just felt such an overwhelming sense of the Spirit, and I felt this again as we were praying with J*** at the end of the lesson.  He prayed out loud in his native tongue for what seemed like minutes.  I couldn't understand but I felt the sincerity behind his plea, at times it was almost like a whisper.  I know that God answers our prayers.  I really do believe that.  And I know that God is our loving Heavenly Father.

It's kind of hard to explain how I have really been feeling the last several days . . .

but I like this part of the 13th article of faith.  Personalized to me:  "[I] believe all things, [I] hope all things, [I] have endured many things, and [I] hope to be able to endure all things."

Something that has really been on my mind a lot this week is the importance of studying and praying specifically for the needs of investigators.   I have really been led to specific chapters and verses that have been such specific answers to what our investigators need.  I feel like it has been easier for me to relate to them as I constantly am praying for them.


J*** has told us that he believes that everything is right and true that we have taught him, but he has made the decision to  not be baptized at this time.  This week I have been praying with my whole heart in his behalf and I really do have faith that He will change his heart and make the right decision.  I know that the Lord can touch hearts.  I know that He can confirm truth through the Spirit.  I really do believe that.

I feel like I've really felt the Spirit a lot this week, and it has really helped me to evaluate so many of my actions, decisions, and desires.  I feel like I have become better at accepting and acting on divine help.  I feel like my will is becoming more aligned with what God wants.

Conversion really is a long, hard process but it is so worth it. I am working on my own deep conversion here, but let me tell you, it is not easy. But just like many things that don't come easily, it is so worth it. I loved this quote from the bible dictionary that Sister Hansen shared with me.  Under conversion it says:  "To labor for the conversion of yourself and others is a noble task."


Oh my goodness mother there is so much that I wish that I could tell you and share with you about the work and the miracles here but I just can't because I don't have the time :(  I will try to send another letter home.

, I love you all, SO MUCH. 

Please pray for me and I will pray for you.  We can stand together even though we are so far away. 

Love,

Sister Heidi Elaine Shelley

LETTER FROM GERMANY!! :D MISSIONARY LIFE

We received a letter in the mail last week. Letters are the best thing ever. Heidi is able to express so much more than in her weekly emails...

Dear Mom and Dad ( and rest of family :D )

Today has been a very long and exhausting day, but I just got home and I had three letters to read- one from each of you, and one from Grandma Burton. Dad, I have got to tell you, that when I read your letters and read about how you’re doing family history it just touches me. I have been in Germany for such a long time now, and it helps me to feel such a connection to our ancestors. You mentioned some people from Bielefeld…I know that place! Halle...I know that place too! I haven’t been to either place but I just hear stories from there and hear about the work there. It is so cool being here knowing that some of our own ancestors lived here.

Yesterday we went to a student apartment building “studentenwohnheim” and we brought several Books of Mormon in various languages to give to people we had met previously. Unfortunately none of the people were home, but we met a man from Syria who was about 26 years old. He ended up inviting us to eat some Arabic food with him in the kitchen there, so we found ourselves eating our first Authentic Arabic meal and I happened to have a Book of Mormon in Arabic with me so we were able to talk more about that. He’s Muslim. We’re Mormon, but the gospel of Jesus Christ brought us together. His family escaped from Syria about a year and a half ago and are living out on the land somewhere, but he doesn’t really keep on contact with them. It made me so sad to think about how real war is, how terrible it affects lives, and how unfair things are. We are so lucky to have such security and such happiness back home. My eyes have been so opened to some of the problems of the world here, and it just makes me want to learn more and actually help these people in some way.

As I wrote home in my email this week, we have been doing a lot of work at this Auslanderheim in our area. There are people from everywhere! Everybody is just so friendly and so humble, and they are such a joy to be around. Sister Hansen and I were just talking about how interesting it is that so many of the people look a bit rugged on the outside, but with character.

They have great values, show respect, and really are great people. This community of people living so close together… they have trust among one another. I like that about Auslanders (foreigners)…they take you in like family from the first time they meet you, they show hospitality and genuine kindness, and they are just REAL. It’s really refreshing and quite a strong contrast against the typical German culture.

The work here is going really well though. We are meeting with so many people each week and people are really progressing. It’s incredible! Even after seeing so much success though, it is easy to feel discouraged at times and just take a hard fall down. The last few days we have seen so many miracles and I have been so happy, but at the same time I have had a hollow, empty feeling inside me that I can’t really explain. I feel like I’m losing myself in this work, which I know is a good thing, but at the same time is scares me a little bit and makes me a little bit sad. Sometimes I feel like I just miss being ME. Today we came home from district meeting and we had a little bit of study time. I talked to Sister Hansen a little bit about how I have been feeling. It really helps me sometimes to just talk about how I’m feeling. Sometimes I just get worked up and stressed about things that I just get the worst headaches, and sometimes they last for a few days at a time. I took a minute to just lie on the floor and stretch and breathe for a minute and we listened to a song before heading out the door for an appointment.

The song is about a missionary and he sings about” The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Being a missionary is such a wonderful, incredible, and life changing experience, but really it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The song starts as the man recalls his farewell to his family.  At that point I just lost it and the tears just welled up in my eyes. It goes on to when he meets his trainer, bears his testimony for the first time, gets to experience rejection, on an on…I just laid there with tears in my eyes remembering my own farewell almost 9 months. Standing at the temple grounds in Provo taking pictures, going to the MTC and being mauled by hugs from everyone as I got out of the van. I remember my first day in Berlin and how hot it was and how excited I I was to be here. And now here I am exactly in the same place. I remember meeting my trainer Sister Nilson for the first time. It was so horrifying for me to realize that we were really just going out and doing and we both didn’t really know exactly how or what . I remember when German was gibberish, when I would get lost everywhere, when I would just feel like giving up because it was so hard.  It is the most incredible experience starting out at such a point and then growing each day as I learn bit by bit. Schritt für schritt.

Last week there was a new sister who arrived in the mission and Sister Hansen and I got to take her out finding on her first day, and then she spent the night with us. While we were at the church we also pulled her into a classroom and we did a practice teaching situation. She and I acted as missionaries and Sister Hansen acted as our “investigator”. This new sister was just so sweet, and was so easy to just relate to her myself and relate to her feelings. She’s got such a journey ahead of her, something she could never have imagined. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. That’s what I would really tell to anyone who is thinking about serving a mission.

Being a missionary myself makes me appreciate missionary work so much more. To be “behind the scenes” in a way you can see how hard it is, how much it has to do with sacrifice. Tears have become more familiar to me. I’m learning to feel more. Even for others here- tears are shed often out of joy and out of sadness.

I mentioned earlier in an email about an experience I had fasting which I wanted to share with you. On February 11 I had an incredible personal study time.  I read one of your letters Mom, and in it you focused so much on Christ like attributes. “ I love my Mommy” I wrote. As I continued studying more and praying throughout my study, I found myself writing this simple sentence: “I want to become more like Christ.”

(Excerpt from my journal entry that day) “But there is nothing I could say to explain the strength of emotions that came with that simple sentence. I just want to BECOME. More than anything. My mom’s testimony and experiences just touched me so much. She has changed so much in the past several months and I find myself thinking, I want to be changed  in the same way. I just don’t want to be distracted here. I just want to serve with all my heart,might , mind and strength. I want to be changed. I want to become. But it comes after choices I make…

I went into the bedroom during lunch and I think I prayed for 45 minutes. I just started bawling. I cried unto God. I thanked him so much. I thanked him specifically for His Son Jesus Christ. I prayed for everybody that I need to pray for. People in Langenhorn, people back home, people here in Lankwitz. I had so much to be grateful for but so much I wanted to plead to the Father about. It has been eating away at me that I feel like I don’t pray as sincerely as I should. I feel like I haven’t poured out my heart in prayer for the people who need my prayers. And then there is my family back home. They pray for my investigators everyday by name. They pray for me. So often I feel like my prayers are not a reflection of what is in my heart…because I am usually just so exhausted and perhaps it is laziness and selfishness that afflict me.  But again I am done with mediocrity. I am done trying and giving up. I will use my faith and I will do what is expected of me. I felt like I should fast, really and sincerely. So I fasted and I began by speaking my prayer.

I fasted the whole day and it wasn’t even hard because I was fasting with a special purpose. And honestly I was fasting because I “wanted” to…with faith and love in my heart. “

This experience with prayer and fasting is now very meaningful to me. I am so grateful for prayer and also for fasting. It can be so hard at times to sincerely pray and fast, but if we can overcome our personal selfishness and complaints they can be so powerful. I can’t take prayers for granted.

J*** has developed the sweetest relationship with God and the most sincere faith. He is praying and studying the scriptures everyday- something he has never done earlier in life.  Faith in God and Jesus Christ is new for him. But wow, I have never seen such a difference in somebody’s life. He is so happy and just has a glow about him. You don’t realize how precious gospel knowledge is unless you had to live and survive without it.  We are working to help J*** to be baptized in March- hopefully on the 15^th.  He has some concerns we’re trying to help him work through, but I believe he’ll make the right decision. He has such a strong testimony. If I am here to see his baptism I know I will cry.

So...something I want to say is that sometimes I feel bad for writing home so often about my struggles out here in the field. Sometimes I just feel so weak and a little embarrassed. I just want to be honest though and I really want to share my experiences here. This mission has changed me and it is a result of the experiences – both good and bad, easy and hard. But it’s not so much that the mission has just changed me. I’ve allowed myself to be changed. That’s something I’ve come to realize is that we can experience something but we choose how the experience will affect us. Just like Nephi and his brothers Laman and Lemuel. They experienced so many similar things but look at how Nephi was changed as compared to his brothers.

I see challenges as blessings. Mom you just sent me a handout on “Adversity” from your Sunday lesson. I have only read the first page , but I thank you so much for that.  I have truly learned the essentialness of adversity. God chastens us because he loves us.

Thank you also so MUCH for the package you sent in the mail. I got it this week. I appreciate the love and support you send from home. You are all amazing and I draw upon your strength when I feel weak and need encouragement.

Also, a special thanks for the French learning materials. I have started going through the French missionary book the last couple days and my French is coming back so quickly and things actually make more sense now than they did before. I don’t know how or why but I have developed such a photographic memory on my mission and I just pick things up so quickly and remember them so easily. And I have been so blessed with learning the language here. And now that I am beginning to study the French language again I already feel that I am being blessed as I learn for the purpose of sharing the gospel.

I really do know that we are members of Jesus Christ’s church here on earth. I know that God lives. He loves us. It is really up to us to share the gospel with the world. We have a great responsibility. I love you so much. I hope you are doing well.

Love. Heidi                           

ICH LIEBE EUCH!! 

MIRACLES OF THE SPIRIT... LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

3 March, 2014

Liebe Familie,

I hope you all had a great fast Sunday yesterday!  These last two times I have fasted have been extra special for me.  Quite honestly, I think it is because I am fasting because I WANT to.  I have such a testimony that when we fast (sacrifice food and water for a time) and PRAY, we can really feel of the peace of the Spirit in our lives and receive the help and inspiration that we need in our lives.  I came across a scripture in my little blue Book of Mormon earlier this week (LOVE MY LITTLE BLUE BOOK :D) and I wanted to share it.

Omni 1:26

"And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption.  Yea, come unto him and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved."

Come unto Christ.  That's what I get to do as a missionary, is invite others every day to come unto Christ, but also do so myself.  I know that Christ is our Savior and Redeemer.  I know that He is God's Son. And I know that God lives!  Christ sacrificed so much for us.  How do we respond to the sacrifices that He asks us to make? 

We met with our dear Serbian family this week.  Once again we sat in the small room and gathered around the table there.  Everybody was actually there this time, and another woman who lives upstairs was there as well.  That made eight of us . . There was a small candle lit in the center of the table and everybody seemed to leaning forward a little bit, eager to hear the words being spoken.  Miroslav was able to translate for us, and share his own words and experiences.  (He joined the church a few years ago.  I love that about the church ... that we have the opportunity to learn for ourselves and then we can share our knowledge and testimony with others.)  

Later in the week we met with the Mother of the family and the younger of the two sons.  We found out that she can't read in her mother language, and neither could her son (He is 14).  She said though, that her husband has been reading a little bit from the Book of Mormon aloud each day and sharing it with the family.  When we invited her to pray over the Book of Mormon, she looked at us incredulously, and responded that she didn't need to pray about it. She already knows the Book of Mormon is true.  She said that often when her husband is reading aloud she has the feeling that she knows what words he will speak next, and then to her amazement he does speak those words. As we taught them about Christ and his visit to the Americas I felt a special peace in the room. Miroslav read from the scriptures in their language since they couldn't read themselves.  The Mother looked at us and told us that she feels like everything we have taught her is all familiar to her, like she learned it somewhere but now she is just remembering it.  At that point again I just felt so full of the Spirit, so happy.  We told her briefly about how we lived with God before coming to earth, and that at that time we had a knowledge of God's plan. Now, as we are on the earth we are to walk by faith, but our loving Heavenly Father gives us the resources to learn and come to a remembrance of the precious truths we once knew.

This week was wonderful, and once again I was a witness of miracles.  But even so I have felt a little bit hollow and empty.  Why????? Sometimes I feel like it is when I reach my highest points that I take the hardest fall.  I broke down in tears and as I did so, I thought about my mission from the beginning until now.  Again, last night Sister Hansen and I were talking, and we talked about how unique a mission experience is, and especially here in Germany.  She looked at me with tears on her cheeks, vocally asking, "Why am I here?  Why am I here?"  What if we don't ever see somebody enter the waters of baptism?  What if we don't succeed at our mission?  Our mission is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them. Faith.  repentance.  Baptism. Receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  Endure to the end.  I want so bad to help people.  I want to invite people to come unto Christ.  Sometimes agency is such a pain in the butt.  But at the same time, it is the most wonderful gift God has given us.  That's how we learn and grow.  That's how we have the potential of moving forward.  Or backward.  Or just staying where we are.  

Yesterday two men walked into sacrament meeting once it was already started.  They sat right in front of us, and immediately my nostrils were filled with the most pungent stink.  They were obviously homeless and you could tell from the way they were dressed and groomed that their circumstances were very humble.  The moment these two men walked in, my heart just felt so much love for them.  My heart hurt as I watched so many members stick up their noses at them and give them discriminating stares.  They are children of God, and I know that God loves them.  I know I have talked a lot about love and what I have learned about love as a missionary, but I just have to say again, that love is a gift from God.  When we can learn to love with Christ like love, we have learned something great. I am grateful for how I have been changed in this way, that I accept people regardless of who they appear to be on the outside, whether they hate me or love me.  I am just grateful that I can be.  I am grateful for what I have.

Thank you for your prayers, and for everything that you are doing back home.  You are incredible examples for me.

I love you!

Love,

Sister Heidi Elaine Shelley        

A WEEK OF MIRACLES - LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

February 24, 2014

Dearest Family:  Dad, Mom, McKay, Heather, Nakita, Andrew, Hayden ÜÜÜÜ 

Guten Tag!  Today is a beautiful day here in Deutschland, and the SUN IS SHINING :D.  

So, pretty much this week was a week of MIRACLES.  

We met a small, young family on the street one of my first weeks here in Berlin.  They were from Serbia and since this initial meeting we haven’t had any success in meeting with them again.  They live in a Auslanderheim, which is where people live who have migrated here from other countries.  (Being a missionary has helped me to have so much more patience . . . :)).  I don’t even know how often we have been there and our lessons have fallen out.  

One day we were there, and surprise, our appointment fell out.  We were pretty discouraged, but we made the best of the situation.  We changed our attitude and determined that we would find a new person before our next appointment.  Literally right after, we walked into a young woman and her grandmother and brother.  BAM!  More people from Serbia!  They received the Serbian Books of Mormon.  

So . . . A few days later we find ourselves back at the original Auslanderheim.  Now we are trying to meet with the original Serbische Familie and the second . . . Unfortunately once again we didn’t make it past the grumpy old man at the front office once again.

Why do we keep trying?  Well, We are missionaries and that is what we do!! :)

So we went on. . . I had four books of Mormon in my backpack and they were all in Serbian . . . 

As we are walking along the road we start speaking to a man.  He spoke no German and no English.  But hey, the gospel of Jesus Christ is for EVERYONE.  He speaks Serbian!  Serbisch!  

We pulled out the Book of Mormon from my back pack.  We held it up to him and his eyes got so big.  He was so excited and so happy.  He only really understood our words when we said ''Jesus Christus'' or ''Jesus Christ''.  But we would come to find that it was not our words that would get to him.  He couldn't understand our language, only the language of the Spirit.  He almost started crying as we spoke to him. He held up his arms and showed us that he had goose bumps. I showed him the picture from a pamphlet we had (Also in Serbian!!) of Joseph Smith and his vision of God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son.


 He read the last two paragraphs in the Book of Mormon from the introduction : 

''We invite all men everywhere to read the Book of Mormon, to ponder in their hearts the message it contains, and then to ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ if the book is true. Those who pursue this course and ask in faith will gain a testimony of its truth and divinity by the power of the Holy Ghost. (See Moroni 10:3–5.)

Those who gain this divine witness from the Holy Spirit will also come to know by the same power that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that Joseph Smith is His revelator and prophet in these last days, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom once again established on the earth, preparatory to the Second Coming of the Messiah.''

This experience really showed me the power of the Holy Ghost in conversion.  Here was a humble man, who was open to the power of God coming to his heart and bearing record of truth.

Since this initial meeting we have been to visit him and his family.  (Again at an Auslanderheim, except  somehow this one actually likes us and the fact that we are from the church . . . ).  Picture a one room apartment with several beds surrounding the walls, a small table, and a tv in the corner.  Picture us sitting there not understanding anything one another was saying but understanding each other all at the same time.

We prayed together that we would understand through the Spirit what one another was saying.  At first the Father wasn’t even there.  It was just the mother and two sons.  The Book of Mormon placed carefully on the table.  The mother especially was so eager to listen to us.  It was obvious that she had talked with her husband.

We watched ''The Restoration'' in Serbian with them.  There was such an intense feeling of peace in the room.  I felt such joy that I almost burst into tears.  The man walked in right at the part where Joseph Smith is in the grove praying.  Then he is visited by God and Jesus Christ.  There was such a sense of excitement in the room among the members of the family even though nobody said anything.  

Then we watched the part where Joseph Smith Senior gets baptized.  At this point the mother almost leaped out of her chair.  She pointed to the tv screen and then pointed to herself.  She had such a smile on her face and then she pointed to her husband and at her children sitting around the room.  

They already know that our message is special and of great worth.  They have already received a testimony from the Spirit that what we have is in fact true, the word of God.

When we talked to them about church we pulled out one of our cards with the address on it.  One of them stood up and ran to a cupboard and pulled out another card exactly like the one we had.  It was a little crumbled, but you could see that it had been carefully placed in a safe spot.  It was the original card we had given to the man when we met him.

We went back to this Auslanderheim yesterday because we planned to meet with this family again.  We brought a man with us who can speak Croatian, great ol' Miroslav!!  I am starting to think that these languages are the most helpful languages because EVERYBODY in this auslanderheim has this language in common no matter who they were or where they were from or what their native language was.  So pretty much, we didn’t even make it past the front staircase in this apartment house because EVERYBODY wanted to hear from us and hear about our message.  So we will be going back tomorrow with probably bags full of books in pretty much every language we have.  MIRACLES.

Another incredible experience we had with J***  He has really been reading in the Book of Mormon lately. I think he is a classic example of someone ''feasting upon the word of God''.  He told us about the feeling that he gets as he reads in the Book.  ''It's like I am an empty barrel, and like I am getting filled with water. It is a special feeling.'' He described the overwhelming feeling that comes over him, like a cloud of feeling that surrounds him.  HOLY GHOST!!!  I just don’t understand one thing though.  He KNOWS that God is real, and that Jesus Christ is the son of God.  He has received a testimony from the Holy Ghost that the Book of Mormon is the word of God.  That our church is in fact the true church.  But he is still scared of baptism and the commitment because of his Chinese identity.  How can he overcome the fear that he has to be baptized?  I have faith though that he can overcome anything though.  Just like my phrase that has become a part of me . . . I can do all things through Christ.  I know that he can too.

I love you all!  I hope you have a great week!

Love,

Heidi 

ICH BIN EIN KIND VON GOTT ( I Am A Child of God ) LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

17 February, 2014

I remember so well, when my Mother would sing to me the words of a song before I would go to bed at night.  "I Am A Child of God."  Now, years later the words come back to me and they mean something so special.  Such comfort and peace comes from such a simple phrase.  A phrase of truth.  Ich bin ein Kind von Gott.  I am a Child of God.  Do we really know that?  Do we really believe that?  If we do, what does it cause us to do?  How does this knowledge affect our lives?  

Gospel--Good news.

Yesterday a young man spoke in our ward.  He was baptized just a couple years ago, and he is the only member in his family.  He looked out at the group of us sitting there in the chapel.  "You really don't know how lucky you are to have the gospel in your life, unless you have had to live without it."  I know that my own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, my knowledge of God, is one of the most dear things that I have.  I cannot take that for granted.  And yet, for the majority of my life I feel like I have taken it for granted.  It has been a journey of now over eight months, away from friends, family, and all that I knew.  To see suffering, to see that the world is just not a fair place, to see that the world is a diverse place.  Love is powerful.  Human pain and joy is the color of humanity.  I know how precious a knowledge of God is.  And I cannot ever take it for granted again.  The Gospel.  The Good news that this world needs. 

Enthusiasm--from the Greek Enthousiasmos.  "GOD IN US."

To be happy, to be enthusiastic.  That is a choice we make.  Just as it is to recognize that God is with us.  And with that recognitition it makes a difference in our life.  Like recognizing the light in the dark.  Recognizing the warmth in the cold.  Recognizing the joy that can always be in us.  

As missionaries the first lesson that we normally give begins with this basic point:  God is our Heavenly Father. our Heavenly FATHER.  Gott ist unser himmlischer Vater.  Another statement of truth that brings such comfort and such peace. I think about how remarkable it is that we have the ability as children of God, that we can communicate with him in prayer.  We can communicate with our Father.

"As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. . .Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ’s name at all; they in no way represent His mind but spring out of the selfishness of man’s heart" (Bible Dictionary, Prayer).

Prayer is a way for us to speak with God.

Earlier this week I was caught up with many thoughts. I had been studying in the scriptures, and studying personally about the qualities of Christ.  I found myself writing, "I want to be like Christ."  I am sure that I have vocally expressed this thought on many occasions, as well as written it in ink on paper . . . But in this moment it meant so much more.  I am so fascinated by words and the meaning we give to them when they are reflections of our own hearts.  The desires of our own hearts. I found myself in my bedroom where I knelt down and just cried unto my God.  My heart felt so full of gratitude, of love, of feeling.  I really just felt like my Father in Heaven was there listening to me.  Like he really cared about me and loved me.  I prayed for all the people that I know need a special blessing at this time.  And it felt so good that I wasn't praying for me, I was praying for THEM.

It made me think a little bit about Enos in the Book of Mormon.

2 And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens. 

 5 And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

 6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

I testify from my own experience that God lives.  He loves us.  Faith has a healing power to it, as we turn to Christ.  True repentance brings us to joy.    

I think about Jus*** this week who has been praying every day and putting forth the effort to read in the Book of Mormon.  He still doesn't feel like he has felt anything?  

The thought came to me this morning as I was praying in my personal study.  I can't really pray and ask specifically that somebody will do something, for to do so would be disrespecting their god-given agency.  But I can pray for my companion and I that we might have the ability given to us from God to say what these people need or invite them to act in ways that will help them to feel.  I can also pray that they might feel the Spirit as they act on what we invite them to do.

I reached my 8 month point this past week.  Crazy how that happens.

I love you all!

Love,

Sister Heidi Shelley

                                                                     Lankwitz district

Zone Training Meeting Berlin South 02-14

LIFE IS A GIFT - LANKWITZ [ BERLIN ]

February 10, 2014

News from Heidi :  a few short emails in answer to a some of my questions  and her weekly family email:

I received news that Eric, Ev**’s brother  who we had begun  teaching in Langenhorn, , was baptized yesterday!! Isn’t that so AMAZING!! He was so prepared for the gospel.

Sister Hansen and I are getting along really well. She is really sweet. And this week we had  such an amazing time!!!

I'm kind of  developing a love for EVERYTHING here.  Ha ha I have a growing growing growing list of things I want to study when I get home, things I want to do, etc. :)

 Liebe Familie,

I am sitting here struggling for words to type . . . Normally my fingers just fly across all the keys, and I just can't stop!  But today, I just want to say something that is really meaningful.  I almost feel like the prophets in the Book of Mormon . . . It was a hard process, but they reserved the limited space they had for the things of their heart.  The spiritual matters.  Their words are what we read today. The words that help us, motivate us, and give us opportunities to learn more about the world and about ourselves.  Words can be a very special thing.  Words can be simply spoken, written, or said, but depending on the heart and intent of the deliverer they could mean something completely different.  It is my goal to say things that I really do believe, things that I really mean, things that are really important for me, things that I hope will in some way help you.  

Here are some of the thoughts that have been on my mind this week.  

Life is a gift.  Take a second and close your eyes.  Open your eyes and try to look at EVERYTHING around you.  Think about what a miracle existence is.  Life is a gift.  I think about how wonderful it is to know pain so that I can know joy.  JOY.  In life we will find light and dark, happy and sad, and I am determined that the complexity and completeness of these emotions and experiences can be labeled by the umbrellaed  title of BEAUTY.  I think about how my Spirit responds to light, to good, to warmth.  We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.  God lives.  We can find him in our life.  The Spirit is real.  The Spirit testifies of truth. I have learned personally, that the Spirit can lead me to what is brighter, to what is warmer, to what is happier and better. 

Last night we sat in the kitchen at the university housing.  Mir***, our joint  teach,  had the idea that we could bear our testimonies to M***, that he might be able to feel the Spirit testify of our words.  It turned into a very personal, and touching situation.  M*** had felt the warmth of our words.  He had felt SOMETHING.  He pulled out a photo of himself when he was only five years old.  That was on his first trip to Mecca. In our meetings we often talk about feelings, about the Holy Ghost, about the reality of God touching people and touching hearts.  What feelings had he had as he had visited the holy city of Mecca?  What power had he felt as he had prayed five times a day his entire life, out of obedience, but also out of love for God?  

To be gathered together as believers is a powerful thing.  Allah?  Heavenly Father?  Somebody has to be right.  I wouldn't be here though, if I didn't know myself.  I know that God lives.  I know that Jesus Christ is the son of God.

Pages turn in German, English, and Arabic . . .

We read together . . . 

3 Nephi 11: 32 And this is my doctrine, and it is the doctrine which the Father hath given unto me; and I bear record of the Father, and the Father beareth record of me, and the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men, everywhere, to repent and believe in me.” 

As we sat together, we talked about our feelings.  Our Spirit responds to goodness, to light, to God.  We don't tell people that they are all wrong, that we are all right.  We tell people that God lives and loves them.  There is truth upon the entire earth.  But we are claiming to have a fullness of the truth, as it was restored to the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith.  We have a prophet today.  God is the same yesterday, today, and FOREVER.  He loves his children.  He wants them to be happy.

 Yesterday J*** came to church.  Man, I love this guy.  Here is the text we got from him in the evening after asking him about his church experience.

"I learned something new for me. First, I know the 16 prophets today. Three of them were Mr. Smith, one is Thomas, and Brigham Young. They looks upright! Second, I find I have overcome the indisposition of church when I saw some lovable faces. Third, I am happy all the day. Is that enough? I think you changed me somehow, and bring me to somewhere with brightness."

To watch somebody experience the joy of learning about the gospel for the first time is an incredible opportunity.  In the first couple visits we had had with him he literally had a glow about him.  Then, the doubt set in.  Did this really happen?  Is this really true?  I see what a destructive force fear is when battling against faith.  Yes, this really did happen.  Yes, this is really true.  But how can we KNOW?  We invited J*** to pray, we invited him to go to the source of all truth.  That is, let him ask of God.  

Turning pages in Chinese and English . . . 

James 1:5
 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth  not; and it shall be given him.”

I have a testimony.  I know that anybody who wants a testimony can also have a testimony.  I know that if we have questions that we can find answers.  I know that God lives.

J*** wore his suit to church yesterday, and he just had a smile on his face!  Did I change him somehow?  I think not.  But I believe that I helped him to find the way that he can change himself, or at least allow himself to be changed by believing in God.  To read somebodies own words telling me that I helped them come 'somewhere with brightness.'  That fills my heart.

I love being here.  I am grateful for my life.  I am grateful that I have this time to serve my God.

Love you,

Sister Heidi Elaine Shelley

That one Blondie in BERLIN.

Sister Hansen and me!! :D

          P.Day:  Visiting  Berliner Dom- The Cathedral church in Berlin  is the largest church in the city.

I stood  inside of the Church and looked upwards at one of the most beautiful artistic masterpieces.  So incredible!! 

We climbed  the stairs to the top  and looked out over the city of Berlin :)

What an incredible view of Berlin!!

This  painted building is  an apartment building in our area.  There are a whole bunch of apartments with the cutest murals. Berlin has a lot of history, so a lot of the city is really old but there is also a lot of modern influence.  LOVE IT :)

Me and the little  green man.  He is called the Berlin Ampel Man.  It's the little green guy that appears when you cross the street . . . 

               Me with the Berliner Bear.  There are so many of these fun guys everywhere in the city! 

 This one of me by the fitness bear . . . I was very enthusiastic and excited to be outside and talking to everybody                        . . . We made a joke that I was like a little puppy being let off my leash . . . :D 

                                                           Buildings near the Berliner Dom.

Standing on the line where the Berlin Wall once stood.

 My  package arrived!! That package was filled with so much love!!!! You should have seen how happy I was when I opened it :DDDDDD    I love the apron and the cook book!!  In this photo I had made some homemade spaghetti with smoked tofu with LOTS OF delicious vegetables and it was so delicious!! :D

                                        

                                    OH MEINE GUTE I GOT TO SEE SISTER NILSON!!!!!!!!!!! :D